Body image is relative

5 Aug

Body image is a fascinating thing to me.

Because of the city I grew up in, and having poor self-esteem for so long, I tend to be very critical of how I look. My body shape. And the extra bit of fat around my middle. And I’ve talked about that before. But it has gotten better over the last few years. Mainly I think because I’ve lost a few pounds, but I’ve gained muscle, and I know now that I will never look thin because of my curves. Which is an OK reason to not look thin. And of course, dance has given me self-confidence which helps.

But I’ve noticed lately that body image is a relative thing.

I work at a large public university. Large public universities are notorious for staff bringing in food to share or leftovers from lunch meetings being made available in the break room. As a result, I’ve noticed that most women to work there are overweight – more overweight than I am. (This does not apply to development officers. They’re like pharmaceutical reps if you know what I mean.) So when I’m at work, I don’t feel short, and I don’t feel fat. I don’t think I look quite like this…

Healthy-woman

…but more like how I actually look probably.

But then I get to the dance studio or the gym. I think the mirrors at the studio are warped. In both places, I feel very short and fat.

fat-girl

This is fascinating to me. Why does where I am impact me about how I think I look so much? And how can I carry how I feel at work to the rest of my life?

I wonder how much of it goes back to confidence. I am very confident in my work – I know I’m good at what I do. And I’ve known that for a long time. Work is probably the place I feel the most confident. Except for the dance floor at Showcase. Hmm, I’m just making this connection as I write. So it all comes back to confidence. So is it all a matter of faking it to make it? If I act confident, regardless of whether I am or not, will I feel better about my body shape?

Interesting thoughts to ponder. But it’s far too late to ponder tonight. But knowing me, I’ll ponder this a lot. Of course, I’ve probably given this way too much thought as it is. I’m just interested in getting past this body shape issue I have.

Let me know if you have any thoughts!

 

2 Responses to “Body image is relative”

  1. Denise August 6, 2013 at 11:49 am #

    I saw this and thought of you, Cathy. She kicks ass, and so do you.

    http://www.xojane.com/relationships/i-learned-that-some-men-will-never-date-me-because-of-my-body-and-im-okay-with-that

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