I didn’t go to a wedding

2 Jul

My friend KT got married Sunday. They had a private ceremony, but the reception was at a really nice restaurant in St Paul, and I got invited. I was so happy to be included in her special day. Then I realized that I wouldn’t know anyone else there. Literally the bride would be the only person I knew – I’ve never even met her fiance. And my shyness and social anxiety kicked in.

peeking-from-behind-the-curtains

My shyness and social anxiety are sooo much better than they used to be! I mean, 10 years ago, I would not have been able to walk into the dance studio and have a lesson. Four years ago, I could. And did.

But it still shows up in situations like this. I don’t know how to walk into a room of strangers and strike up conversation. I really wanted to go, but I was so paralyzed with how it would go and who I would talk to. I didn’t go.

And I feel bad now because one, I didn’t share in KT’s wedding day and two, I HATE it when stuff like my shyness wins. Most of the time, I can force myself to get past it and go. But this one was too overwhelming – a whole room of strangers.

A lot of people I know would look at that as a great opportunity. “Look at all the people I get to meet and talk to!” Yeah, that’s not me.

I know how to make small talk and keep a conversation going, thanks to an awesome book I read a long time ago. But how the heck do you just walk up to a group of people and interject yourself in their conversation? That’s the skill I need to learn.

Time to add that to the to-do list…learn that skill, so next time I can go. And it won’t be the anxiety-provoking event this one was.

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