Daily post: Flawed

28 Dec

The daily post challenge from a few days (weeks?) ago: What is your worst quality?

Oh boy. That’s a hard one to answer because have you met me? It’s hard to pick just one!

Some of them: a little too much OCD (although I’ve learned to back off and not impose it on others), a quick temper (again, I’ve learned to manage that one), insecurity (ditto)…

And it’s hard to distinguish a flaw vs a challenge. Like leaving my comfort zone can be a challenge, but is that a flaw?

I think my biggest flaw, though, is having high standards for myself and a not-always-realistic timeframe for achieving them. High standards are fine. But I tend to beat myself up if I feel like I’m not meeting them. This shows up in dance A LOT. My teacher has become excellent at trying to manage expectations when we’re working on something new. But I still tend to get upset with myself if I don’t pick it up quickly. Which is hard to do because, as he says, the days of easy fixes are gone.

It shows up at work too. I get angry with myself if I make a mistake on a report. My boss tends to laugh at this, because my reaction is so disproportionate to the error. And I’m usually the one to catch the error!

Remember McKayla?

mckayla-maroney-not-meeting-her-standards

She made that face because she was disgusted with her performance. She didn’t meet her standards for herself. I feel her pain. I make that face, but not on the outside.

But luckily, for the last few years, I’ve been aware of this flaw in myself. So I have lots of tools and self-talk to counter it. And most of the time, I remember to use them.

Most of the time.

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