I haven’t written about dance in a long time, other than a post about Showcase. That’s because dance has been a source of discontent for me lately.
Which is very weird.
Dancing is my passion and my joy. I LOVE dancing. It gives me confidence and happiness. Occasionally it sends me to the thinky place. But when it does, I know why.
I can’t pinpoint where the discontent is coming from. And if I can’t pinpoint it, I can’t begin to address it.
My lessons have been going so well lately; we’re making HUGE progress. And I’m not going to the thinky place on them. I just get a weird feeling when I pull in the parking lot or walk through the door of the studio.
And I don’t think it’s anything directly with the studio or my teacher. I think it’s something in me that’s getting in the way of me letting dance just fill me with joy.
I’ve been trying to listen and see if I can figure out the feeling. Friday night I journaled by hand for almost two hours just to unload my thoughts and see if I could see the pattern. Nothing yet. And I’m tired of this feeling.
I feel like it ties to my confidence in who I am and my belief in the studio environment being what it really seems to be. That the feelings are genuine and real. That’s not completely it, not by a long shot. But I think it MAY be a start?
I’m just thankful I have a patient and supportive teacher.