Where’s Clarence?

28 Dec

Still pondering the question of do I matter. It made me think of “It’s a Wonderful Life”.

I love that movie. I cry every time. (Yes, I’m a sap.) And I know the message is supposed to be that you never know the impact you have on others’ lives. Which is fine. But sometimes, especially right now, all I can think about is how lucky George Bailey is to be shown what that impact is. The rest of us have to die to see that impact.

I want my Clarence to show up and tell me what my impact is. I’m not asking or expecting that without me, St Paul would become Pottersville. But I have trouble seeing my impact, and so I’d really like someone to show it to me.

But alas, real life isn’t like the movies. And so Clarence won’t show up to help me. I need to look for signs of Clarence elsewhere in my life and try to assess my impact that way. Obviously I’m not good at that, but I’ll keep trying. And I’ll keep trying to have faith that I do matter and I do have an impact somehow.

But it’d be a hell of a lot easier if I could get a visit from Clarence just once.

2 Responses to “Where’s Clarence?”

  1. Nikki December 28, 2011 at 2:57 pm #

    If it helps, you’re one of the few people I can hang out with without Brad. That’s a pretty big deal to me.

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