Yay! It’s almost Christmas. But gah, it’s almost Christmas!

19 Dec

I love Christmas. Like I’ve said before, I love the holiday season. (It’d be better if we had snow and a chance at a white Christmas. I mean, it’s Minnesota. How can it not be a white Christmas? But whatever, I’m not bitter.)

SIGH.

The downside for me is spending a whole day with my whole family. My sister JO from Chicago is coming into town with her family. So it will be all of us. All 18 of us, if everyone shows up. Oh, crap, we’re 19 now if my brother’s girlfriend joins us.

To a lot of people, that probably sounds great. Family – yay! But my sisters still see me as a four-year-old, I think. They never ask about my life or how I’m doing or how dance is going. They have zero interest in me and my life. Most of the time, I’m fine with that. But on big holidays, it would be nice if someone besides my dad and sometimes my brother paid attention to me.

(I refer to my sister JO as the golden child. She can do no wrong. My mom thinks she’s just the coolest kid and so special. I think Mom’s overcompensating for ignoring her middle daughter, but whatever. JO and her family will stay here with me and my parents, so there will be no escape for me.)

Example: My sister AK (who lives here in town) and her husband bought a new house a year ago. AK called me last week to invite me over on Christmas Eve. I kid you not, her voice mail was “Well, we invited Mom & Dad, and we invited the Os, so I thought I should invite you too.” Um, thanks? Glad to know I’m so wanted. Then I found out from my dad that she really just wanted to invite the Os to see the new house and it kinda grew from there. What’s funny is that in the last year they’ve lived there, they’ve never invited me over to see the new house.

My family is tough too because they all (except my brother) have a very different political view than I do. And normally I would be OK with that, except they also don’t really believe other points of view are valid. Makes sitting there listening to conversation challenging at times.

And I can’t even have a cocktail to help me get through it!

So I’ve been thinking a lot about this the last week or so. Kinda dreading it.

But then I realized…how much of this whole mess is my responsibility? Yes they don’t care about my life and they don’t ask questions, but do I try to meet them halfway? Not really. The last few holidays, I have very much sat quietly in a corner (almost literally) and tried to hide. So I need to suck it up, buttercup, and try to talk to them. Because my sisters have no care about my life, they probably have no clue how important dance is to me. So why would they ask about it?

So I need to try and start conversations with them. No matter how much or if they return the favor. If they do, great! I’m not looking for new best friends, but it’s weird to have your sisters be the people who know you the least. If they don’t, fine. Then I can boast I took the high road and wasn’t met halfway. (Insert superior dance here.)

So I’ll go to my sister AK’s house Christmas Eve. Although I will not go to church with them. Ugh. Their church scares me. Far too much like 1950s Catholicism. Women should stay home and have 6000 kids, men should go hunting. And don’t you dare question anything – just do what the pastor says you should do. So I’ll go hang out with them for a bit. And try to make conversation.

And on Christmas Day, I’ll hang out with everyone, again trying to make conversation. I’ll smile and laugh and watch football. I’ll try to bond with them and show interest in their lives, and hope they can focus beyond themselves for a bit and ask about mine.

And I’ll be wishing for a cocktail and Prozac.

7 Responses to “Yay! It’s almost Christmas. But gah, it’s almost Christmas!”

  1. TS December 20, 2011 at 7:39 am #

    Honey you are definitely taking the high road, feel free to do your dance. Man, some things never change, huh? I remember your family from a dreadfully long time ago, and it was the same! I say this is how you cope: first, bring a flask. A little vodka can be slipped into almost anything. Second, if you find yourself in a corner being ignored, go out to the middle of the room and start practicing some of your dance moves. Merry Christmas you sweet thing!
    TS

    • The Reinvented Lass December 20, 2011 at 10:01 pm #

      Thanks, TS! Yes, some things never change, including my sisters. Luckily I learned not to care for the most part. And a flask…hmm, methinks I might need to try that! Merry Christmas to you, my friend! Let’s get together after the first of the year.

  2. Darlene B December 20, 2011 at 10:02 am #

    I think everyone feels conflicted about family during big holidays. A friend of mine told me she was jealous of my big family. She was an only child and had only one child herself. My family is comprised of 32 different personalities. I often wished I was an only child when we all get together. Like you, almost everyone ignores my passion for dancing. I finally figured out that it’s because I have found something to be passionate about and they are still searching. Maybe it’s the same for you.

    • The Reinvented Lass December 20, 2011 at 9:59 pm #

      I think you’re on to something. I know my passion, I know how to live my life to make me happy, and I think my sisters don’t know those things for themselves.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

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    […] make more conversation with her. Not a ton, but more than I had been. It goes back to recognizing the responsibility I have in the relationships with my family. And I would like to step up and do my […]

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