Into the pool!

4 Sep

I think I want to enter the dating pool again.

As both of you readers know, I’ve been divorced about 4 years. I was involved with a guy for about two years after the divorce, and it’s taken me this long to get over that relationship and be ready to move on. (Interesting side note…I started dancing about 2 months after we ended things to try and get out of the house and find something new to do. Who knew what THAT would lead to?)

So now I’m ready to have another relationship. Unfortunately, that means DATING. And here’s a little known secret: I suck at dating. I’ve actually never been involved with a guy that I wasn’t friends with first. I’m so shy with people I don’t know well that first dates are very difficult for me. But I know I won’t get to a relationship without dating and without first dates first. And I do want a relationship. I’m happy with my life but I do miss being part of a partnership. I’m a romantic, as I’ve said before.

OK, now to figure out how to meet guys. I’ve been thinking about this for a while now, so last weekend when I was at the condo with AM, I made her help me write a profile for OKCupid. She’s done the online dating thing before, plus she’s good at writing and photos and stuff. Then I signed up for 6 months of eHarmony. I don’t like that eHarmony only allows for hetero relationships. That’s not an issue for me; I just disagree in philosophy. But I do like the communication method of eHarmony, so I figured why not?

I’ve learned over the last week that I’m picky. The photo has to do something for me right away…I’ve been in relationships where the physical attraction wasn’t there at first, and I learned the hard way that for me at least, that instant connection is key. Not that the guy has to be Henry Cavill, but I have to find him a little attractive.

Ah, Henry Cavill. Definitely on my list of five guys.

Anyway, as I was saying…there haven’t been a lot of guys I wanted to send a message to on OKCupid or eHarmony. And most of the ones I have messaged haven’t responded. I think that’s probably because I’m up front about the fact that I don’t want to have kids at this point in my life (I’ll be 40 in a few weeks!), but I am open to someone who has kids already. I think that turns off most guys in my age range – most of them are “maybe” or “yes” about kids. I’ve also ended communication with a few guys who say they always need to be active and outdoors. I’m all for active, but sometimes I like to sit and watch a movie. (We all know that it’s easy for me to get sucked into watching TV aimlessly.)

So step one…see if there are any guys that I get to the point of actually wanting to meet in person. Then comes the big question: how the hell do you do a first date???

“When I saw you I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew.” -Shakespeare

3 Responses to “Into the pool!”

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Rules for guys on online dating sites « Starting Over In My Life - September 9, 2011

    […] you know, I entered the online dating pool a few weeks ago. Since then, I’ve viewed enough profiles that I’ve come up with a list […]

  2. Rules for guys on online dating sites « The Reinvented Lass - November 18, 2011

    […] you know, I entered the online dating pool a few weeks ago. Since then, I’ve viewed enough profiles that I’ve come up with a list […]

  3. Time to date again? « The Reinvented Lass - March 18, 2012

    […] I tried online dating. It wasn’t spectacular for me. I think it’s really hard for me to get to know people […]

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