Twue wuv

23 Aug

Recently, my friend KC asked me what I thought love is. We were talking about it in terms of God’s love, but it really made me think about romance and love. What is it? (My first thought was of “The Princess Bride”… mawwiage, true wuv.)

Often in relationships, you can tell which person has outpunted their coverage. You can tell when one person is more in love than the other one is or when one person tries more in the relationship than the other one. I know that no relationship is exactly like it seems from the outside, but you can often get a sense of it.

I know two couples, the D’s and the M’s, where it is equal. The people in these couples are such a good match for each other. I can’t describe it well, but it seems like each one is mostly concerned about making the other one happy without much of a concern for themselves. They also don’t let the little things about each other bug them. That’s not to say they don’t fight, because I know they do and they get frustrated with each other. But they accept the other for who they are and are happy at the end of the day to be with each other.

I especially enjoy watching my friends the M’s. There is such pure JOY in them since they got married. And they’re not smug marrieds – they are just so truly happy with each other. They start their day happy because they have each other, it seems. Again, I know they get upset with each other and get frustrated. But you can just tell they’re well matched for each other, they’re happy with each other, and they deeply love each other.

I was very much in love when I was married. But our relationship wasn’t a partnership. I don’t think either of us was most concerned about the happiness of the other one. We loved each other, but we didn’t know how to love each other in day-to-day life. And that, I think, is key.

I know that there is a practical journey to get to that kind of love. First dates, relationships, trying different people and seeing where the connection is. I’m not the hopeless romantic who thinks it always happens like the movies. (Not anymore, I’m not.) But I want a relationship like that – where you’re so happy just because you’re with the other person.

That’s the kind of love I want. The kind that my friends the D’s and the M’s have. The kind Carrie Bradshaw described as “Real love – ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t-live-without-each-other love”. I do believe it exists and that it isn’t just the hopeless romantic in me. I see the D’s and the M’s, and I know it exists.

“I read once that the ancient Egyptians had fifty words for sand and the Eskimos had a hundred words for snow. I wish I had a thousand words for love, but all that comes to mind is the way you move against me when you sleep, and there are no words for that.”

“If you live to be 100, I hope I get to live to be 100 minus one day, so I never have to live without you.”

3 Responses to “Twue wuv”

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Into the pool! « Starting Over In My Life - September 4, 2011

    […] So now I’m ready to have another relationship. Unfortunately, that means DATING. And here’s a little known secret: I suck at dating. I’ve actually never been involved with a guy that I wasn’t friends with first. I’m so shy with people I don’t know well that first dates are very difficult for me. But I know I won’t get to a relationship without dating and without first dates first. And I do want a relationship. I’m happy with my life but I do miss being part of a partnership. I’m a romantic, as I’ve said before. […]

  2. Fabulous Saturday! « The Reinvented Lass - October 8, 2011

    […] drinks at Sweeneys with the Ds. They’re one of my favorite couples because of how much they love each other and how much fun they are to be with. Sweeneys has the one of the best patios in the cities… […]

  3. Into the pool! « The Reinvented Lass - November 18, 2011

    […] So now I’m ready to have another relationship. Unfortunately, that means DATING. And here’s a little known secret: I suck at dating. I’ve actually never been involved with a guy that I wasn’t friends with first. I’m so shy with people I don’t know well that first dates are very difficult for me. But I know I won’t get to a relationship without dating and without first dates first. And I do want a relationship. I’m happy with my life but I do miss being part of a partnership. I’m a romantic, as I’ve said before. […]

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