I have the week off work. I get a boatload of vacation time at my job, so I take a lot of time off. My job is burning me out, but that’s a topic for another day. In the meantime, I enjoy my vacation time. People often ask if I’m going anywhere when I take time off. Apparently it’s weird to take time off and stay at home. Well, maybe not as weird in our current economy. But the joy of time off for me is the fact that I don’t have to go to work. Period. Anything else is just gravy.
My goal this week is to relax and to take care of myself. It is very easy, in my world, for that to turn into sit-my-ass-on-the-couch-and-watch-TV-all-freakin-day. My parents are not outdoor people. In their house, you get your chores done, and then you watch TV. My dad often turns on the TV as background noise, even if he’s reading. Seems like they haven’t heard of a new invention called a radio that plays music so you can have noise in the background. So I grew up in that environment, and it tends to become my day as well.
But I’m making a conscious effort lately to NOT WATCH TV. Friend AM has a TV but does not have cable. She only uses the TV to watch DVDs. I think that is so cool, but it also scares the crap out of me. How the heck does she do that? What if you want to just veg out? Apparently that’s when she watches a DVD. I would love to try that sometime, but it scares me. Small steps…let’s start with not automatically having it on and not just sitting watching TV.
The other reason I’m anti-TV right now is because I need to work out more. I’ve been doing a pretty good job of it the last few weeks. I know that I will never be one of those people who gets addicted to working out and feels like crap if they miss a day at the gym. I always feel great after I work out, but it takes a concerted effort to get my ass to the gym in the first place. I’ve been trying to eat better and work out more to lose some weight, and it’s working, so I’m going to keep going to the gym. As I’m off this week, I really don’t have any reason not to go to the gym every day.
Taking care of myself and paying attention to my needs are not things I do well. At all. Never have. I’ve been working on it, but for some reason, I just hesitate to do what’s right to take care of myself. I take the easy road, especially when it comes to food and exercise. I’ve been doing OK lately, actually pretty well, but it is so difficult for me. I can talk to myself about why I should do this (like go to the gym) and I tend to not do it. Even though I feel bad I’m not doing it. It’s still easier than going. I just feel bad about myself afterwards for not going. I think at some level, I think it’s selfish to take care of myself. Mixed up, I know.
So today after breakfast and after cleaning the bathroom aka living the high life, I read some of my book. (I love reading. I just don’t do enough of it, because if I have spare time, I’m watching TV. See above for why this is a problem. Right now I’m reading “Team of Rivals” about Abraham Lincoln. It’s very interesting, but it does require concentration.) Then I worked out (yay me!) and then I practiced at the dance studio for a bit. (Damn you, cuban motion! I will triumph over you!) Then I made some food for the week and read some more.
I turned the TV on around 5pm. Very very good for me. I watched for about an hour and then I turned it off. I’ll probably turn it on again after I’m done writing this. Overall, that’s still a big improvement for me. I think I need to try to adopt AM’s philosophy of watching only DVDs or movies.
So day one went well, and I hope I can maintain this for the week. I certainly am going to try. The only problem is figuring out how to occupy my time the rest of week that is beneficial, enjoyable, relaxing. And maybe a little selfish? Without the side of Catholic guilt???
“The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.”